I’m not a great fan of internet lists, although it’s difficult for me to resist titles like this one. It isn’t original, unfortunately, although I am very familiar with these seven, and several more too.

This list, and several others to do with therapy, was published by Ryan Howes, in Psychology Today (link), and includes the following ways of not helping yourself when working with a therapist:

• Choose your therapist quickly
• Don’t ask questions
• Lie
• Make hints and speak in riddles
• Triangulate (spend the time talking about other people’s troubles, rather than your own)
• Compartmentalise (pretend that one area of your life is completely disconnected from the rest of your life – the connection is you, of course)
• Vanish

Ryan gives some explanation on each in the article.

In practice, it is very difficult to avoid what’s on the list. I would go as far to say that if you can avoid everything on this list you have probably had a lot of therapy already! So it is more something for us both to keep in mind during therapy, to watch for ourselves doing it, and ask why (if we can!)