Bipolar Disorder – does counselling help?

David Solomon MA MBACP(SnrAccred) MPractNLP Posted on by

My sister is waiting to see if she has bipolar disorder, and it is affecting our whole family. Would a few therapy sessions with you help while we wait for an NHS appointment for her? (You did not leave me an email address so I am replying to your questions here, having changed some of the details).

A diagnosis of bipolar disorder is life-changing for the sufferer and for their families, so here we might actually have two questions:

1. Would counselling help me, as a family member, cope with the stresses of living with my sister – yes it would, but it is probably not practical on a long term basis because of the cost. Perhaps occasionally when things are getting on top of you. Do keep a look out for support groups, often run by e.g. Mind, as they can be an alternative to therapy for the families of patients.

2. This really is a question for your sister, not for me. If she feels it will be of help to her to have somewhere to vent her frustrations while she waits for the NHS to come up with some help, then yes, it will. If she doesn’t think so she is very unlikely to attend often enough for therapy to help.

Unfortunately many sufferers of bipolar disorder, particularly in the “up” phase, are very resistant to attending therapy sessions or taking medication, and the patient’s willing cooperation is crucial when it comes to having private counselling.

There is no reason that I know of where counselling of itself would be unwise. Counselling/psychotherapy, along with medication, is the recommended treatment for bipolar disorder. Waiting times are a big problem still for mental health services, although the suicidal ideation that frequently accompanies bipolar disorder will mean that the appointment will be quicker.

How Does Psychotherapy and Counselling Work?

David Solomon MA MBACP(SnrAccred) MPractNLP Posted on by

The important thing is that the research shows quite clearly that it does work.
Oh, I can give you half a dozen theories, that’s one advantage of having an MA, but I quite like the following explanation:
It’s a special kind of conversation where two people get to know one person (you) better. While we both get to know you better, many of the problems in living that caused you to attend seem to resolve, or fall away, and be seen in a different light.
Sometimes missing life-skills can be identified, and we can agree on coaching to rectify these gaps in skills, such as deep relaxation, or assertiveness.

Or we can just agree it’s magic, and let it go at that!

(if you still want a more scientific explanation, here’s one – link – that’s pretty close)

Anger and optimism – a connection?

David Solomon MA MBACP(SnrAccred) MPractNLP Posted on by

The School of Life published a video which suggests that angry people are often just thwarted optimists. Well, at the risk of thwarting the School of Life’s optimism, I don’t think so.

Oh, I see where they are coming from, and anger is certainly more likely to be the result when reality doesn’t match up to how we feel it SHOULD.

I think that anger is an energy in the body. Some have more of it, and some have less, but we all have some. There is no way that we can ignore our anger energy for ever, or the body starts looking for targets (consciously or unconsciously) who are passing by and don’t meet our standards in some way. Fits of anger all look pretty silly when things have calmed down.

A better way of dealing with anger is to use the energy constructively. Perhaps use it while  advocating a cause we believe in passionately, or maybe in some creative music, writing or art. In the short term, I coach my clients in techniques for venting the anger that is being troublesome in a harmless way, while they look for a satisfying project in which to pour this vital energy.

In this way they can live their lives more productively and contentedly, and have the opportunity to live life with real optimism.

Link to Video on the School of Life’s site.

Seven Ways to Sabotage Your Therapy

David Solomon MA MBACP(SnrAccred) MPractNLP Posted on by

I’m not a great fan of internet lists, although it’s difficult for me to resist titles like this one. It isn’t original, unfortunately, although I am very familiar with these seven, and several more too.

This list, and several others to do with therapy, was published by Ryan Howes, in Psychology Today (link), and includes the following ways of not helping yourself when working with a therapist:

  • Choose your therapist quickly
  • Don’t ask questions
  • Lie
  • Make hints and speak in riddles
  • Triangulate (spend the time talking about other people’s troubles, rather than your own)
  • Compartmentalise (pretend that one area of your life is completely disconnected from the rest of your life – the connection is you, of course)
  • Vanish

Ryan gives some explanation on each in the article.

In practice, it is very difficult to avoid what’s on the list. I would go as far to say that if you can avoid everything on this list you have probably had a lot of therapy already! So it is more something for us both to keep in mind during therapy, to watch for ourselves doing it, and ask why (if we can!)

Leading Psychotherapist explains every Middle-Aged Women needs Therapy

David Solomon MA MBACP(SnrAccred) MPractNLP Posted on by

Susie Orbach is doing her bit to publicise the benefits of therapy to Daily Mail readers, thank goodness. However she limits the field to “women of around 50,” and, well, “women.”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3955524/Leading-psychotherapist-Susie-Orbach-explains-middle-aged-woman-needs-therapy.html

OK, one of my friends has a cushion on his chair saying “behind every successful man is an exhausted woman” and I think we can guess who bought it for him. But actually it was the leading psychotherapist Carl Gustav Jung who coined the phrase “mid-life crisis.” He certainly included men. Let us hope male readers of the Mail do not feel excluded.

jungJung’s point was that in the first half of life we spend our time growing up, making our way in work, raising our children, and generally being focused on the outside world. At mid-life, our attention naturally changes and different things seem to become more important to us. Questions come up like “what is my life about?” and “what do I want to do with the rest of my life?” Unless we avoid the whole area by either chasing younger members of the opposite sex, shopping, etc., which don’t solve many problems for long.

And yes, therapy can help us pick our way through that time, no matter what age it hits or what gender we are. We can find plenty of satisfaction and meaning, if we look.

Therapy is Cost-Effective

David Solomon MA MBACP(SnrAccred) MPractNLP Posted on by

Here’s a good subject to start the blog off on the revamped website.

A few years ago (2009) I came across an interesting bit of research. Personally, I have no doubt it’s accurate. Here’s an extract:

Research by the University of Warwick and the University of Manchester finds that psychological therapy could be 32 times more cost effective at making you happy than simply obtaining more money.
Chris Boyce of the University of Warwick and Alex Wood of the University of Manchester compared large data sets where 1000s of people had reported on their well-being. They then looked at how well-being changed due to therapy compared to getting sudden increases in income, such as through lottery wins or pay rises. They found that a 4 month course of psychological therapy had a large effect on well-being. They then showed that the increase in well-being from an £800 course of therapy was so large that it would take a pay rise of over £25,000 to achieve an equivalent increase in well-being. The research therefore demonstrates that psychological therapy could be 32 times more cost effective at making you happy than simply obtaining more money.
Governments pursue economic growth in the belief that it will raise the well-being of its citizens. However, the research suggests that more money only leads to tiny increases in happiness and is an inefficient way to increase the happiness of a population. This research suggests that if policy makers were concerned about improving well-being they would be better off increasing the access and availability of mental health care as opposed to increasing economic growth

A fuller description of the research is still up on the Warwick University website. That would be four lots of six sessions I suspect, today. You can do a great deal of work in that time.

Actually clients have told me that having a significant amount of therapy actually helped them make more money as well – promotions at work, greater self-confidence, that sort of thing. Sort of having your cake and eating it too, I suppose.